The dettol advert

I'm tired of these Dettol adverts, children nowadays believe there are germs everywhere. My 5 yr old Nephew goes around with a bottle of Dettol in his pocket. He sprinkles his friends before he plays with them... Sprinkles his books before reading...everything must be germ free to him! This morning, my tea and bread tasted funny...I took a few sips and bites before I realized my Nephew had poured Dettol in my breakfast to kill germs and take care of me. *Please people tell me, if my nephew doesn't kill me ,who will😘😘😘😘😘😘

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Court

*C - O - U - U - U - R - T!!!* Judge : Why do you want divorce? Petitioner : My wife asks me to peel off garlic, cut onions, wash utensils and clothes. Judge: So what's the problem in this? Just warm up the Garlic, it will be easy to peel it. Before cutting Onions, just chill them in the refrigerator and then while cutting them the eyes won't burn. Before washing utensils just immerse them in water tub for 10 minutes , they can be easily washed. And before washing clothes in Surf, soak them in water for half an hour, all the stains will go away and even hands won't get tired. Petitioner: I now Understand Your honour. I would like to withdraw my petition. Judge: What have you understood? Petitioner: That your condition is worse than mine. 😄😄😄😊😊😊😃😃😃

You don't need atomic bomb to destroy any nation

At the entrance gate of a university in South Africa the following message was posted for contemplation: *"Destroying any nation does not require the use of atomic bombs or the use of long range missiles. _It only requires lowering the quality of education and allowing cheating in the examinations by the students._"* Patients die at the hands of such doctors. Buildings collapse at the hands of such engineers. Money is lost at the hands of such economists & accountants. Humanity dies at the hands of such religious scholars. Justice is lost at the hands of such judges... *"The collapse of education is the collapse of the nation."* We need to inculcate d spirit of quality education in our children.

Admit it u don't come here for hunting?

Jon was excited about his new rifle and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex." Jon decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him. The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then ...

Laugh out loud

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